Life of Brian

Dear Premier Pallister:

I’ve been reading about how you’ve pretty much pulled up stakes and moved from Winnipeg to Costa Rica for the next seven weeks. I don’t blame you. As assistant deputy minister in the Manitoba Department of Transportation, I can understand your desire to get away from the snow and the windchill. I’m sick of it all, too. I’ve been living with this weather since I was a boy in Dauphin and now that I’m in charge of snowplows for the province I’ve noticed that my life hasn’t changed that much since I was a tad.

Unlike you, I can’t afford a condo in a warmer clime, but I wonder if you’d mind if the wife and I took our RV to one of those places in Texas where Canadian snowbirds go for the winter. I’ve been online and spotted a nice-looking spot called Rattlesnake RV Park in Hardscrabble, Texas, that still has a few places that come complete with hookups.

Why I’d even be willing to stay in touch by email, which I notice you don’t want to do. That way, I’d have more time to be thoughtful about staff complaints. One problem I’ve never been able to solve, and maybe you have an answer, is how to stop people from putting their lunches in the staff fridge then never eating them. We’ve got curry and yoghurt and some unidentified green stuff that’s been in there for months.

But back to my main point. Being premier is all about leadership. And I think you’ve found just the right tone for the role: out of sight. No one expects answers from their politicians these days; promises and postponements are quite sufficient. That’s what we’ve become used to. In fact, maybe everybody in Manitoba could move south for the winter, leaving this sorry land to the indigenous peoples. After all, it was theirs in the first place.

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